Ahh, Sunday mornings…I am fortunate and blessed to be in a season where the church God has called me to be a part of does not start until noon. My apartment is full of windows, so even on cloudy, sunless day, it couldn’t be dark in here during the day if it tried. I absolutely LOVE that…especially in the summer time! As I look out the window at the winter-wonderland, laptop on lap, coffee next to me, I am so thankful for this time to rest and reflect on the weeks behind me…the past two in particular.
I could sit here and say what a victorious and wonderful week it has been with visions of angels flying everywhere and the sound of heavenly harps playing in my ear, but I’m not going to lie…it has been an all out, exhausting battle…and I didn’t even know it was a battle until I got further in. The past 2 weeks it seemed all of hell had broken loose…literally. A situation presented itself that if I had not brought it to the attention of one of the people in my life who is in authority over me would have continued or worsened. Then, I experienced two, yes two demonic attacks in the wee morning hours two nights in a row, and if that wasn’t…oh, I don’t know? Um, confusing as all get out, I then was confronted with a very blatant attack on my character.
The first situation was resolved fairly quickly. I am blessed to have the support of this person who is in authority over me. She did everything she could to go to bat and resolve the issue on my behalf.
The second situation took bit more. In fact, every time I tried to write about it, something stopped me. I couldn’t get the words out or it just didn’t feel right. Now, I know the delay was in part necessary to the timing…there was more to be revealed.
I don’t like to give the enemy too much credit, so I will refrain from the specific details of those attacks. However, I will say that these were not your typical nightmares. These experiences required a realization that to fight it off, I would have to actually get involved, wake up and call on the name of Jesus. And after a bit of a struggle to wake up and call upon his name, I literally felt whatever this thing was let go of me and peace flooded the atmosphere just like that. Why? Because when we speak the Lord’s Great Name, the enemy is commanded to leave (ref. Luke 10:19, James 4:7).
My first thought was how could this happen? Aren’t I protected? How could the Lord let this thing get so close to me? I mean what were my angels doing? Just standing around? When it happened again the next night, my questions were magnified. And if I’m honest, I was angry at God. He’d promised my protection and these experiences seemed the exact opposite. What I couldn’t see was that He had done just that…I’ll get back to this in a bit.
So I took a “spiritual inventory” to try to sort this thing out. Prayed over the house? check. Prayed for protection? check. In sin?…Okay, I felt fear today and was angry at someone over the way they had treated me, etc., but did I really deserve this?
God is not a God who punishes or who would literally throw us into the arms of evil in an effort to “get through” to us, so I knew it had to be something deeper. Something unexpected…something I didn’t understand…because I’d never experienced it in that way before. I’ll circle back on this in a bit, too.
I called a friend of mine in California who heads up the prayer ministry for well-respected pastor and author. Gifted lady she is, always with a Word that is dead-on, full of wisdom and a prayer WARRIOR. I mean this lady can go on…and does not stop! I wish I had the stamina for prayer that she does, but God has gifted us each individually.
What she saw was a sword…”an angelic sword”, she called it. “This represents battle. I see it pointing up and now I see it pointing down indicating that the battle is finished. God is allowing you to experience these things because He is entrusting you with more. Which can only mean one thing…God is getting ready to MOVE.”
…I think my reaction was something profound and gloriously intelligent like…”ohhhhh”, lol.
It’s true…sometimes we just don’t see the forest for the trees.
So, what I thought was a lack of protection was actually more protection than I could see…because as close as it came, it could have been so much worse. While I was whining, “where the heck were my angels?”, they were fighting a battle on my behalf that was much bigger than I could have seen with my physical eyes (btw, shout out to the Lord for NOT allowing me to witness that!). They were right there, they never left…and God right there with them. HE never left!
I am reminded of Daniel’s angelic visitation while held captive in Babylon. Which some believe to be the Lord Jesus Christ himself pre-incarnate.
10 A hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. 11 He said, “Daniel, you who are highly esteemed, consider carefully the words I am about to speak to you, and stand up, for I have now been sent to you.” And when he said this to me, I stood up trembling.
12 Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. 13 But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. 14 Now I have come to explain to you what will happen to your people in the future, for the vision concerns a time yet to come.” – Daniel 10:10-14
Can you imagine Daniel? “Dude…where have you been? I’ve been holding down the fort for 3 whole weeks!” And yet, he had been protected the whole time from something much greater.
To circle back to other part of that, it was not “punishment”, a chink in the armor or anything like that. God was allowing me this experience to strengthen my ability to fight on behalf of Him…growth, removal of fears and doubt, training…whatever you want to call it, God intends these situations to grow in spiritual warfare.
Think it not strange if He asks the same from you. God often takes us through new levels so that we can be promoted in the spirit…an elevation…because we are going to need it in the days to come. The reason we don’t often understand is because since it is a new level, we literally don’t recognize it for what it is or realize what is happening. Of course, its terrifying! Of course, we are thinking, “what the heck is this???”. We are learning something new! And when we come out of that experience, we are fortified and strengthened.