Tomorrow Comes

scarlett

O-kay….

So, in lieu of yesterday’s very Scarlett-esque emotional tantrum and after a very good night’s sleep (save for a dream or two, which dang-it, I didn’t write down)…I now have my wits back about me and can face the day with fervor.

I kind of liken it to when artists paint and they get all into a frenzy and pass out and then wake up on the floor in front of their painting, which ends up looking like a colossal masterpiece and they have no idea what happened or remember painting it….but the colossal masterpiece took a colossal mess to get there.

Too, I also awoke to a very pointed email from a fellow MorningStar sister in Savannah. Boy, when God speaks…He speaks! “Your voice is My instrument and your heart is My song.”…Maybe He was just waiting for me to pour my heart out to Him.

scarlettcrying

Yep…(*sigh*…)…

Why do I get in my own way??…Seriously, all the feels…

Such is the gifting of an artist…especially a Worshiper…you cannot Worship God in spirit and in truth unless you are sensitive to the spirit…which means you are also sensitive to EVERY-freaking-THING else…I tell ya, what a gift! Seriously…It’s great to be prophetic…it’s great to be a seer…not so great having to sort through all the feels that come with it…sometimes you walk into a room and it’s literally like butter. You have to wade through AND navigate all of the emotions in that room and the spirits that people are carrying with them…and that means everything…good and bad. If you aren’t aware of how this works, you’ll have a hard time sorting through what isn’t attached to you and what is…or you’ll let manipulators push their “stuff” onto you.

I wanted to take a few sentences to talk about something that happened recently that sparked the huge life change that led to all of this (more of which I will cover in a different post at some point)…

I recently lost my job due to a layoff at the end of October. Which ironically happened 3 days after a retreat at which the reoccurring theme was that I would be headed into a new season…a season of joy.

To fully embrace that joy, I had to fully put my trust in God to provide without a job…which He did…in abundance. So, I took the plunge and in January…I went back to school (full-time!) after 15 years of working full-time and didn’t look back. My ENTIRE life changed. It has been a step by step daily trust walk with God…learning to let Him be my provider, rather than thinking of myself or my job as my provider. My parents were not the type to hand us everything on a silver platter after we each left the house and I’m glad they didn’t. Learning to be independent was the best thing they could have taught us. The only problem with that is, when things get tough, you fear…because you see yourself as your provider and not God…Myself is limited, hence the fear…but God’s resources are unlimited.

This is where He has me now. Learning to rest in Him and trusting Him to provide, day by day.

It’s been a harrowing experience and one I’m thankful for.

You cannot fully trust God until you been challenged in ALL areas of fear…some of which you won’t know you carried a fear until they happen.

So, here we are…a new day…fresh fervor…

I’m in, God…I’m in.

Don’t let me go hungry again…

tomorrow

 

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